12 Questions to Ask Now
If your ceremony means much more to you than a necessary technicality, ask these 12 questions and you’ll be on your way to a phenomenal experience.
- What tone would you like for the ceremony? Intimate, ceremonial, minimal, sacred, warm, romantic, lighthearted?
- Do you want a religious, spiritual not religious, humanist, representing two or more traditions, or personal service (or combination thereof)?
- Have you thought about what elements, e.g., opening blessing, reading, ring blessing, etc., you would like in your ceremony? Ask your Officiant to explain the various elements of a service and where best to place these elements in your ceremony.
- Are there any rituals or traditions you know you want to include? How about readings, prayers, or blessings?
- What do you definitely want and definitely do not want for your ceremony? Draw upon past experiences of weddings you’ve attended. Which ones did you enjoy? Which ones didn’t you enjoy? Which ones don’t you remember much about?
- What would you like to convey to everyone in attendance? For example, the journey you took to get to the “altar”, gratitude, endearing friendship, importance of family, the magic of love, etc. Ask your Officiant to help you pinpoint the specifics and then artfully craft them into your ceremony.
- Do you wish to include any family members or friends? For example in a reading, participating in a special rite, honoring parents and/or grandparents, etc.. Ask your Wedding Officiant to help you plan elements that will have the most meaning for you and your participants.
- Do you want to honor or mention anyone who, for various reasons, is unable to attend?
- Do you want to write your own vows? If so, ask your Officiant if he or she will help you if needed.
- How important is it to you that your ceremony be custom crafted? Do you want something where your personal love, beliefs and values are reflected throughout the service, or is a traditional ceremony with some customization enough, or perhaps something in between?
- Are there any touching, amusing, or insightful stories about the two of you that you think your guests would enjoy hearing? Engaging your guests with touching stories helps them to feel more welcome and will create an intimate setting.
- Are there any sensitive issues for you or your partner with regard to the ceremony? Are there any sensitive issues involving your families? For example, the parents are paying for the wedding and want to see a very traditional ceremony but the couple wants a more modern ceremony that reflects their personal beliefs.
Do you have a wedding party? How do you picture their processional or “the walk down the aisle”, for example, single file walking in and walking out in pairs, or something more modern? If you are planning a rehearsal, who will run the rehearsal? If you’re getting married in a house of worship or at a venue that frequently hosts weddings, the cost of running your rehearsal is usually included in the overall price. Check first with your venue before hiring your Officiant or Planner to run the rehearsal. Don’t pay twice for the same service.