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From Time U.S. article posted June 11th, 2012 titled Loving Day
In 2007, Mildred Loving released this statement:
Loving for All By Mildred Loving
Prepared for Delivery on June 12, 2007,The 40th Anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Announcement
“When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, DC in 1958, it wasn’t to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love, and we wanted to be married.
We didn’t get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn’t allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love, and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.
When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn’t that what marriage is?
Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the “crime” of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed.
The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared:”"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.
We left, and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.
Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn’t have to fight alone.Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, “The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by freemen,” a “basic civil right.”
My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudice shave given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the”wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”
For more info go to www.LovingDay.org
*THE* best proposal I’ve seen on YouTube in a while. Lip-dubbed to Bruno Mars. Complete with marching band and dancing Jews.
Mexican culture is recognized for hosting vibrantly colorful celebrations in the company of dear family and friends. Weddings are no exception. Prominently a devout Roman Catholic culture, the wedding ceremony is centered around the Mass.
Mexican weddings tend to be large with many wedding party attendants. The attendants are called Madrinas and Padrinos and they have special roles in the wedding.
A traditional couple getting married are sponsored, financially, by their Godparents, to act as Padrinos, sponsors of the wedding. They are mentors to the bride and groom throughout their engagement, and even after they are married. The bride and groom honor them with a place in the wedding program. The Padrinos may present the couple with a rosary and a Bible during their wedding ceremony.
The flower girl and ring bearer may be dressed as miniature versions of the bride and groom. The Madrina de Ramo carries flowers for the Virgin Mary. The Madrina de Laso carries a jeweled or beaded rope that is placed around the couple as they say their vows, to symbolize their union. The Madrina de Copas carries the wine glasses for the toast. Madrinas or Padrinos may carry a prayer book, a rosary, a guest book for signatures and an embroidered pillow to commemorate the day.
There also is a Madrina de Velacion, who the bride has chosen to turn to for guidance throughout her married life. God parents of the bride and bridegroom give the couple a prayer book, rosary, and kneeling pillow for the ceremony.
The last persons in the procession carry the recuerdos, which are remembrances, similar to wedding favors, given to the guests. In addition there can be several sets of wedding sponsors, similar to god parents, who look after the couple promising them financial and spiritual aid.
Brides in Mexico may wear a mantilla veil, or a slim dress with a bolero jacket, or even a Flamenco-style dress with ruffles at the hem. In many Latin American countries, the bride wears a light blue slip beneath her dress. In lieu of carrying flowers she may carry a fan or a prayer book. The groom may choose a Mexican wedding shirt.
During the marriage vows, to symbolize unity, a large loop of rosary beads or a lasso is placed in a figure eight shape around the shoulders of the couple. Some couples choose to be entwined in orange blossoms as this symbolizes fertility and happiness. In some families, a double rosary lasso is also given by one set of the parents and may be blessed with holy water three times in honor of the trinity.
A special person or couple places the lasso around the shoulders of the bride and groom, groom’s shoulder’s first. The lasso may also be tied around their wrists. The couple wears the lasso throughout the remainder of the service symbolizing their love which should bind the couple together every day as they equally share the responsibility of marriage for the rest of their lives.
At the end of the ceremony, the lasso is removed by either the couple which placed the lasso on the couple, or the priest. Traditionally, the lasso is given to the Bride as a memento.
It is customary for a Mexican groom to give his wife a wedding present of thirteen gold coins, which are then blessed by the priest during the marriage ceremony. This gesture represents the groom’s commitment to support his new wife. Couples who choose to be more modern will each exchange gold coins.
A truly touching tradition during the ceremony happens when the Bride places a special bouquet at the feet of the Virgin of Guadalupe image to thank and pray for their marriage.
Most weddings will end with mariachis as a part of the recessional. As the newlyweds leave the church, red beads may be tossed at them, to bring good luck. The reception is always family oriented and festive. Everyone is presumed to be invited.
This day I married my best friend
…the one I laugh with as we share life’s wondrous zest,
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that’s best.
… the one I live for because the world seems brighter
as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.
… the one I love with every fiber of my soul.
We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.
Author John Ridley and a majority of Americans support marriage equality.
John Ridley is an Emmy Award winning commentator and writer for Esquire and Time magazines as well as a contributor to CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and NPR.
He is the author of seven published novels. The most recent of which is What Fire Cannot Burn. Collectively, his works have been chosen as editor’s picks or “best of the year” by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Entertainment Weekly and the Baltimore Sun.
Ridley is the Founding Editor of That Minority Thing (www.thatminoritything.com), a nonpartisan website that provides news and opinions in support of a wide range of voices, including ethnic, racial, religious, disabled, gender, and sexual minorities.
“An ancient Chinese legend holds that a couple is bound at birth by an invisible red thread which continuously shrinks over the years until the couple is united in marriage. The legend states that nothing in this world can sever the thread, not distance or changing circumstances. Marriage is their destiny.
If the legend is true, this couple’s thread must have been long, for the journey to this day has been an extended one. Back in grade school, when Phong wrote his phone number on the back of his 8th grade picture, asking Jade to call him, little did he know he would be standing here today. When Jade moved out of her parent’s house, she threw out that same picture thinking, “Oh, I’ll never see that guy again,” little did she know she would be standing here today.
During their college years and after, to their surprise, they would run into each other. On one such an occasion, Phong decided to ask Jade out. This time, he was not going to let chance get in the way; he was going to be the one calling her. But with her phone number in hand, getting Jade to go out with him wasn’t so easy. He had called several times to ask her out. Jade’s initial response was, “Whatever.” Fortunately, Phong is quite persevering and Jade eventually agreed to have dinner with him. That was the beginning of their romance and the continuation of their long friendship.
Today in the presence of family and friends, Jade and Phong will commit their lives to one another. With the words “I do” they not only profess their love, but also pledge to remain by the side of their beloved in both the good and bad times and during the joys and sorrows of life.”
“Modern love can be summed up in one quick status update: It’s complicated. There are boundless romantic possibilities, unfettered by skin color, religion, ethnicity, class, or orientation.” begins an article titled “Love and Race” in this month’s Marie Claire. The magazine kicks-off a three-part series on how people are meeting, dating and mating today. It was one of those articles that at first glance, I need not delay, the issue was mine and I was going to pour over it.
Marie Claire highlights five women of culture and their stories.
Anna Holmes, a half-black, half-white women discovers her own racial blind spots, especially when it came to love. She avoided dating darker-skinned men, assuming they were only interested in her “trophy” light skin. She didn’t trust Caucasian men either, assuming they saw her as a novelty, as a way to sample another culture, or as a stand in for all black women. Soon she realized that her racialization of romance was keeping her at arm’s length from deeper intimacy.
Michele Serros a Mexican-American recall’s her parent’s advice to never marry a Mexican. Her childhood through young adult view that a Mexican husband could not provide a prosperous life for her was instilled by both of her Mexican parents. Soon Michele had achieved, on her own, the kind of life her father said only white men could give her. A revelation that freed her to be with the man she loved. She eventually met a Mexican-American man and fell in love. Antonio was a successful chef-owner of a vegan restaurant in Berkeley, California. When she brought Antonio home to meet her dad, it was not without anticipation. Michele’s last hurdle was overcome when it became clear to her father that Antonio broke the stereotype he and Michele’s mother perpetuated. Michele touches upon the influence of movies such as Maid in Manhattan, Monster-in-Law and The Wedding Planner where the young Latina marries a wealthy white man on her cousins.
Ji Hyun Lee writes about battling the “docile, hardworking lotus flower by day and sexual tiger by night” stereotype of Asian women. Those myths might feel antiquated but from her experience, are alive and well today in some form or another in the minds of many non-Asian men. Her experience dating outside her race has made her become more open-minded about dating Asian men. She writes, “I’m noticing that the Korean boys who were invisible to me in high school had grown up into a handsome lot.”
Helena Andrews a young black woman investigates the statistic she finds not only offending but not entirely true that 70% of black women are single. A hot topic in the media, this fact has been the highlight of several news stories including an entire show on Oprah. Helen’s curiosity is peaked when she notices that she, a single black woman, was in the minority of her mostly married social network. Many of her friends had observed the same thing. So where was this disparaging statistic coming from she wondered? She decided to go straight to the mother lode of demographics, the U.S. Census. She found that while it was true that 70.5 percent of black women were never married compared with 45 percent of white women, the statistic is based on women ages 25 to 29. A statistic she found not surprising. She found another statistic that only 30 percent of black women were married but the data included every female from 15 years old up to 90-something. Something else she found revealing. Upon getting in touch with a psychology professor who analyzed census data between 2000 and 2009, she learned that his research showed that most black women eventually do marry. Helena continues about how her own black American culture buys in to the hype and how it’s perpetuated.
Lastly, Azita Ghanizada an Afghan-American woman learns about love and tradition through both her own experience and her parent’s. After her family flees Russian invaded Afghanistan to Vienna, Virginia she finds she isn’t the only one in her family rebelling against strict Afghan conformity. She witnesses her parent’s loveless marriage prolonged an additional six years because of great social pressure from their Afghani community. A divorce would “bring shame” to their family. When she finds attention diverted to her mother’s unheard-of divorce from her father followed by her parents new found romantic lives, she finds a new kind of freedom. “The lesson they are learning is clear: Loving someone from the same race or religion doesn’t guarantee happiness… Marriage will come when it is right.”
To read the article in full, go to the April Issue of Marie Claire